Category: Rehearsals and Showers
Article: Throw a green bridal shower -- 8/5/2010

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Drawing the line on rehearsal dinner guests

Dear Etiquette 101,

My fiance's grandmother has offered to pay for our rehearsal dinner. It's a kind and generous offer and we are very appreciative. Since the offer was so generous we have tried to keep the guest list as small as possible by including only attendants, readers and their spouses. This means we must exclude out-of-town guests and grandparents.

I know out-of-town guests are traditionally included so you can welcome them to town and give them some extra time with the bride and groom -- since they have traveled to be there. Are we wrong in excluding them? I don't want anyone to feel unwelcome or for our guests to think we are ungrateful after they have traveled so far to be with us. Is there something else we could do to show our appreciation?

Signed, Hope C.

Dear Hope,

May we suggest putting together some "out-of-town" baskets and asking the hotel to leave them in the room for your guests. They don't need to be expensive or extravagant. Include a map of the area, some dinning suggestions and maybe even a gift card to one of the local restaurants. You could also include some local items to create a regional flavor -- say, Florida oranges, Vermont maple syrup or coffee milk for Rhode Islanders.

Most importantly, include a handwritten note thanking them for coming and letting them know you are excited about seeing them at your wedding and are glad they will be able to share in your special day.

Good Luck,

Etiquette 101